March 1995
Restaurants are to San Francisco what pooka shell vendors are to Hawaii - there are just too many to choose from. It would take months and a truckload of Tums to cover them all. But every once in a while a dancing water droplet appears on the griddle of the San Francisco restaurant cuisine scene, taking over the food industry with revolutionary ways to prepare old dishes.
Once again a new phenomenon in the culinary world is happening in The City. But it is not a new Wolfgang Puck bistro, or a swanky, hip supper club South of Market. Instead, it is a Chinese food and donut restaurant. Yes, donuts.
Conveniently located for commuters in the Mission District, at 24th and Mission Streets, is China Express. And luckily enough, the donut counter is separate from the food counter. According to owner Jolly Chan, 20 percent of people eat both at the same time. Mostly, says Chan, mornings are for donut lovers, and the lunch and dinner hours are for those craving Chinese food.
But don't think that this combination is a pearl waiting to be discovered. At best it is a cheap, quick bite when even McDonalds will not suffice. The chow mein, with bits of tasteless chicken, rubbery eggs, and wilted lettuce, is comparable to greasy mall food. The "hot and spicy" chicken is only marginally spicy. And the lemon chicken with pineapple chunks leaves an aftertaste reminiscent of soggy chicken covered with "Shake-n-Bake."
And like the Chinese food at most malls, you get to choose what you want out of metal containers behind sneeze-proof glass. With every entrŽe you get a choice of chow mein or fried rice. For one selection the price is $2.50, with a dollar for each additional selection. But do not look for any fortune cookies, they do not give any. Perhaps this is karma.
As for the donuts - donuts are donuts are donuts. No matter where you buy them they mostly taste and cost the same. Going down, they are sweet and tasty. But afterward, they sit for a year like a wild boar in your stomach, kicking and screaming its way down your digestive tract.
So if you like donuts, then this place is for you. They are big and cheap, and the jelly-filled, with more than a mouthful of jelly, tastes great going down. Just make sure to workout for a couple of hours after eating one. And don't forget the Tums.