San Francisco School of the Arts
`Patti Lane,' who does not wish to use her real name, is a part of a new generation of `queer youth.' She said she has learned about the pros and cons of being open with her sexual orientation. She knows where to get support if she needs it and how to get involved in community activities. For her, Lane said that being sexually aware means taking precautions. Her sexuality is nothing to be taken casually.
"I'm bi," said Lane, adding that the only people who really understand her situation are other bisexuals. "I like guys and girls equally. If they don't understand that, that's their problem. As long as I understand the situation, that's the end of it."
Gay and bisexual teens have a variety of ways to find support and make themselves visible in the community. Some queer and queer-friendly organizations offer financial support to college-bound queer youth, as well as immediate job training opportunities.
Organizations such as the the Lavender Youth Recreation and Information Center (LYRIC) provide services that help youth deal with issues. These range from coming out (informing people about their sexual preference), to meeting other gay and bisexual teens, to suicide prevention. Gay youths are believed to comprise about 30 percent of teen suicides in this country, government statistics show.
Howard Siegel, 52, who works on the board of directors for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (P-FLAG), thinks it is extremely important to reach out to queer youth. His son came out at the age of 19. Siegel said he didn't really understand how any parent could kick their child out of the house because of his or her sexual orientation.
Siegel does acknowledge that queer youths face the possibility of being forced into independence. He said some teens can go to organizations such as Huckleberry House or the Larkin Street Youth Center in San Francisco.
Lane can identify with the stresses of coming out in high school. In her first years at San Francisco's Burton High, Lane felt isolated. She didn't know anyone else who was bisexual. Lane decided to remain silent about her sexuality.
"No one needed to know. I wasn't interested in anyone at school," Lane said.
Eventually she did meet people like herself.
"I met three or four people who were just like me." Lane said she learned of other young people who were bisexual while talking to them about topics such as who they were attracted to or what they did the previous weekend.
`Jean-Francois Meursault," 17, who also used an alias for this story, attends Mission San Jose High School. He's been partially out of the closet since last summer. Since then his experience has been similar to Lane's.
"I don't make a conscious effort to find other queer youth. We meet through mutual friends," Meursault said.
For the most part, Meursault said he isn't different from any other high school student. He has many friends and is comfortable living with his family.
Ken Bukowski, executive director at LYRIC, said adults should try to create a safe and supportive space for youth to be open about their sexual orientation.
"It's really hard (for queer youth) to find each other in schools. You could look for some clues, but if you're wrong you could get in trouble. That's why we have the rap groups here, so youth can find one another," Bukowski said.
Lane said she is glad she is able to go out and have fun with her queer friends. "We like to go to the Haight (neighborhood), have lunch, go downtown," Lane said. "We talk about our experiences. Are we out to our family? Why?"
`Edith Lee,' 17, who does not wish to be identified, has gay friends at McAteer High School. She takes an interest in knowing as many different kinds of people as she can. Lee said she doesn't doubt gay youth have many obstacles to deal with. She said that one of those obstacles is that gay youth are shown in the news as wayward, making them feel as if they automatically have a problem.
"People think that they (gay youth) don't know who they are. They don't know where they're going. That they're abusing themselves," Lee said. "I think they're just normal teenagers. They're dealing with different problems."
The media portrayal of gay teens isn't altogether positive, said Kerry McGillicuddy, the recreational director at LYRIC. McGillicuddy holds strong opinions about the influence and effects of the media. She says it affects whether or not youths decide to come out of the closet.
"It (the news media) is pretty silent. That's a control mechanism within itself," McGillicuddy said. She thinks queer youth are virtually ignored in the adult world.
Meursault stated his opinion plainly. "We're not represented," he said.
Bukowski, agreeing with Meursault, said gay youth were more likely to be represented in the mainstream as some kind of weird talk show topic.
Lane's impression of the public view of gay teens is that people think gay youth have been recruited by older gays and lesbians.
Lane strongly disagrees with the stereotype of gay `recruiters.' She says the older generations have actually taught the generation of today what it's like to deal with the conflicts of living an alternative lifestyle and how they managed to survive that struggle.