[ Golden Gater Online - March 4, 1997 ]
Juan C. Rodriguez
Staff writer
Singer-songwriter Jesus Guillen's first musical memory is that of riding through the Mexican countryside, as a 5-year-old, in his father's Orange Crush truck singing children's songs at the top of his lungs over the loudspeaker.
He and his father drove the truck through the state of San Luis Potosi, just north of Mexico City, showing Tarzan movies in small towns and promoting the sweet beverage. It was the start of Jesus' dream of being an international singing sensation.
"I got the feeling I was singing to the world," Guillen said.
Thirty-two years later, Guillen is still pursuing that dream despite the challenge of being an immigrant in the United States who is HIV positive.
He learned the news in 1986, but has not allowed it to slow his passion for chasing his dream.
Instead, it has increased his drive.
Guillen played an informal concert Sunday afternoon at A Different Light Bookstore in San Francisco's Castro district to promote his first CD of Spanish love songs. He wrote, produced and is in the process of distributing the album.
"Life doesn't wait for you," Guillen said. "Anything could change any day."
Guillen decided to break into the music industry the only way he knew how; with self-determination and the help of many friends in the local Latin music scene.
Most of the funding for his CD comes from the financial aid he receives as a student at SF State.
If he were to go the conventional route, he would probably be dealing with agents and record labels demanding he tone down his homosexuality and keep his HIV status under wraps.
When he first came to Los Angeles in the 80s, he made the rounds composing tunes for educational videos and pushing his own songs. This between gigs as an actor and designer, and a brief stint flipping burgers at a Jack in the Box.
He became noticed in 1989 when one of his songs won eighth place out of 500 compositions at the California leg of the Latin American OTI music festival. Although the song was well-liked, the director recruited a woman to sing with Guillen to avoid the song being interpreted as a gay ballad.
"I let others do what they wanted with my songs," Guillen said. "My music now is what I feel, what I hear and what I want to express."
At Sunday's concert, Guillen was decidedly open about the original object of his songs. He made shoppers in the bookstore look up from their browsing with the passionate chords of his acoustical set.
People gathered around the back corner of the bookstore where Guillen's five-piece group was flanked by the gay history, poetry and spirituality sections.
"I'm a big fan," said Martha Aguilar, a friend of Guillen's guitarist. "When I heard he was coming out with a CD, I said I'm going to get to know him better."
Although Guillen comes from a strong Roman Catholic background, he said there was room in his house for the expression of art and passion.
It was not uncommon for his father to read poetry and serenade Guillen's mother, as well as perform at parties and in plays.
Guillen carries on the troubadour tradition of the "serenata" his father instilled in him.
"Through my voice I know people feel sexy, cared for, relaxed or some kind of sensuality," Guillen said.
"As a composer, Jesus has his own way with a melody. He knows what he wants and he goes for it," said Juan Pedro Gaffney, director of the Coro Hispano, a local singing group that specializes in Spanish choral music spanning from 12th century chamber music to contemporary music.
Gaffney arranged one of Guillen's compositions on the CD and includes it as a regular part of the group's repertoire.
"I treasure my partnership with Jessie," Gaffney said. "He's a pretty special loving dude with a big heart and a very active mind."
He said in the four years since Guillen has worked with the ensemble, Gaffney has seen Guillen mature as a composer and performer.
Guillen is diligent in his work at SF State's music department where he studies voice, composition and piano. He also studies Italian and takes occasional dance classes.
When not in class, he works to get his CD out of the closet, literally. (He has 1,000 CDs stacked in four boxes sitting next to two bags of cat litter in his walk-in closet)
His CD is selling well in several bookstores in San Francisco, Los Angeles and New York. It won't be in record stores until a record label picks it up.
"It can happen at any moment," Guillen said.
Despite the full schedule, Guillen goes to weekly acupuncture appointments at the Immune Enhancement Program in the Castro. He prefers homeopathic treatment to Western medicine as long as his health stays good.
"I still prefer not to take drugs if I can," Guillen told his acupuncturist.
Despite his challenges, Guillen said he feels like a lucky person.
"I feel like sometimes I should be more angry," he said. "Everyday I give thanks for everything, good and bad, because that's what life is all about."
[ Golden Gater - March 4, 1997 ]