[ Golden Gater Online - February 20, 1997 ]
Kathy Stevens
Staff writer
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Those who have experienced sexual assault or who committed
sexual assault have a multitude of community resources
if they want to get help. The S.A.F.E. Place, located at 190 Denslowe Drive, offers services for all people regardless of race, gender, age or sexual preference. Campus resources include: Counseling and psychological services 338-2208 The S.A.F.E. Place 338-2819 Student Health Services 338-1251 University Police Department 338-2222 Off Campus Resources: San Francisco Rape Treatment Center 821-3222 Highland Sexual Assault Center (510) 437-4688 Suicide Prevention 781-0500 ManAlive 552-1361 Community United Against Violence 333-HELP Men's Center Therapy Project (510) 644-8262 MOVE: Men Overcoming Violence 777-4496 Self Defense classes are listed under Kinesiology in the Class Schedule. The statute of limitations to file criminal charges against an attacker is six years, according to SFPD. Police reports can be filed at any time after the offense.
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Her mouth was wrenched open and the option was gone. When he tired of oral sex, he ripped her underwear and sodomized her. He stopped when she began shaking uncontrollably and said, "O.K. I respect you."
Indra Haim, now an SF State student, did not report her rape that August in 1988. Instead she went back to her dorm room at San Jose State and continued packing. Summer finals were a week away and she would be leaving the dorms -- she had to pack.
At 19, Haim was raped by a man she had met at the San Jose State dorms, and had known for two months. Even though she was not vaginally penetrated by his penis, the rape would still be classified as a felony sexual assault, according to Lt. Mary Stasko of the San Francisco Police Department Sexual Assault Section.
The classification includes anal and vaginal penetration; digital (fingers) or object penetration; skin to skin contact; and any forced sexual touching, Stasko said.
Although it is estimated by the United States Bureau of Justice that one in three women in the U.S. will be sexually assaulted once during her life, the statistics are not accurate. This is because both male and female victims do not report rape, Stasko said.
In 1996 there were 472 felony sexual assaults reported to the Sexual Assault Section of the SFPD. Lt. Stasko said about 2 percent of the cases reported were sexual assaults on men.
SF State's University Police Department received two reports of rape this year and one last year. The three reported rapes all occured in the SF State residence halls. Criminal charges against the four men involved in these cases were either dropped or not pursued.
"Whether [victims] are male or female, they may go to a private doctor, they may go to Kaiser, they may go to the police and not to the doctor at all. We never know how many sexual assaults really occur," said Dr. Ralle Greenberg, director of the Department of Public Health Rape Center at San Francisco General Hospital.
Of the rapes reported nationally, Greenberg said, 96 percent are substantiated and 2 to 4 percent are false reports.
"Part of the reason some people don't report is because they are fearful the assailant will come back. Or they may not be believed, or people will say, 'well she brought it on herself.' There is a lot of blaming going on," Greenberg said.
Fear kept Indra Haim silent then, and so did other things.
"I didn't tell anybody, but I felt like everyone knew that something had changed in me," Haim said. "I thought, 'this is my word against his -- he worked in the correctional system -- and who's going to believe me,'" she said.
Haim contemplated suicide to get away from the man who haunted her. Each time she closed her eyes, she saw him, blond and lean, and heard his words.
A week after the rape, she went to San Jose State's Student Health Center complaining of insomnia. Haim said a doctor prescribed Valium. Amid the boxes and clothes strewn about the room, Haim placed the pills in a line next to a glass of water.
"I'd had the radio on and looked at the Valiums lined up in front of me. Then I heard a song by Heart called Allies. For some reason the song just brought me out of the suicidal mindset," she said.
Haim said she had a weird feeling about the man when they first met in June, but she ignored it.
"He would hug me too long and be overly friendly, but I figured it was because he was interested in me," she said. "I told him that [hugs and touching] made me feel uncomfortable and I thought he seemed to back off."
Paying attention to those gut feelings is important, according to Nina Jo Smith, coordinator of The S.A.F.E. (Sexual Abuse Free Environment) Place.
The S.A.F.E. Place was started five years ago by students and faculty at SF State. Smith was among the founders. She said a person's body and mind is the most important weapon against any sexual assault. Her self-defense program includes what Smith calls the three A's: Awareness, Assessment and Action.
"Be aware of your inner state -- that's self-awareness or trusting your own judgment," she said. People often ignore their intuition and often, Smith said, many people will sense the potential for danger.
Assessment requires observing the person's actions.
"Is the person acting controlling, or threatening? Is he or she pressing boundaries or are you being isolated?" Smith said.
If the answer is yes, then perhaps action is necessary. Smith gave several options.
"Get out if you're isolated. Smash them with your fist if it's necessary. Whatever action you take, act with one hundred percent commitment and then go tell someone what happened," Smith said.
One of the most effective methods of getting someone to move on is to use the Broken Record Technique, Smith said.
"This is a way to break the conversation with someone. You simply keep repeating the same thing. By not responding to the person, you're putting up a verbal fence," Smith said.
The S.A.F.E. Place, at 190 Denslowe Drive, offers crisis intervention, rape prevention education and self-defense, along with other related services.
Services are more accessible now than in 1988, Haim said. Now she knows about them.
"I was extraordinarily naive. I was very withdrawn and when I went to college I didn't know what was going on," Haim said. "I absolutely pay attention to those gut feelings. I don't even question myself anymore."
What she does question is the blame society seems to place on the victim. According to Haim, Greenberg, and Smith, there are automatic questions with far-reaching implications: What did she or he do? What was worn?
Well, they must have deserved it.
"So." Haim said. "So I went into a guy's room to get my tapes back. So I knew him. That doesn't mean I'm agreeing to sleep with him. I have a lot of men friends, but having a friend or trusting someone isn't an invitation to be raped."
The three women also agree that reporting a sexual assault is an individual decision and one made with caution.
"I didn't report [the rape] because of the way women were treated, because I was in shock, because I wanted to put it all behind me," Haim said. "Today I might report it. I think each person has to go at their own pace and do what makes him or her comfortable. But I do advise anyone who's been assaulted to talk to someone," she said.
[ Golden Gater - February 20, 1997 ]