Spring Break Fever

Disneyland claims to be the "Happiest Place on Earth," but when you're too tall to ride the tea cups, you should head to a place where the drinks are free, the lights are bright and as long as your pockets are full the party never ends.

If you can only take off for a few days over spring break, pack your four leaf clovers and head to Las Vegas. Where else can you find a Liberace Museum, a steak for $2.99, scantily clad waitresses and the country's tallest free-standing observation tower, that has a roller coaster and free-fall ride on top if it?

In Vegas more is obviously better. Prepare for sensory overload.

Getting there: Southwest Airlines has a friends-fly-free program, which is less expensive than most airlines that fly directly to Vegas. You can book without advance notice and get fares for around $98 each. The $19 one-way far is only available 21 days in advance. Or you can drive, but it takes about 10 hours from San Francisco.

Once you're in town, lodging rates are as low as $21.45 a night at places like the Star Light Express. If you want to save your cash for gambling, stay cheap.

Put on your cheesiest smile and hit Las Vegas Boulevard (aka the strip) first - just to get it out of your system. While flying into "sin city," the strip is the thing that looks like a three-mile-long glowing miniature golf course.

On the strip, Caesar's Palace offers a piece of Hollywood, with its Rodeo Drive shops and Spago restaurant. In addition it's one of the cleanest casinos in town. But don't stay too long, you've got slots to hit and second-hand smoke to inhale.

Treasure Island and The Mirage are owned by the same hotel baron and have the best outdoor shows. In front of the Mirage a simulated volcanic eruption jams up the sidewalk. Treasure Island has a ship fight right out of "Pirates and the Caribbean," with fire, sinking boats and drowning pirates.

Millions of neon lights at the end of the strip, you can visit the Luxor or MGM Grand hotels.) MGM has an indoor amusement park, another fine Vegas example of "excess is best." The Luxor is shaped like a pyramid, but it lacks authenticity. Don't waste your bucks on the big Joker's Wild looking slot machines -- you'll never win.

If you avoid the buffets, you'll be ready for the second day: Fremont Street.

The famous neon cowboy that's in every Vegas movie, and the opening shots of "Vegas" with Robert Urich, lives on Fremont street.

Recently a half-dome was put over the street and traffic was closed off to bring business back to the seedier side of town.

The Golden Nugget is the most commercial casino on Fremont. It's not a smart idea to bring someone who's been giving you an ultimatum about marriage to this side of town, it's far to east to tie the knot. The Golden Nugget broadcasts videos of wedding ceremonies throughout the casino, how romantic.

Was it mentioned that free drinks are served everywhere you go?

However, only waitresses serve up the free hooch, the bars charge. Speaking of charging beware of strip joints in Vegas. A respectable little topless venue across the street from the Golden Nugget charges $24 for two beers -- Miller Light no less. You have to pay to play and the place doesn't charge a cover. The clientele (out of town business men) gets nervous when female customers join the action, which makes the inflated beer prices almost worth it.

By the third day, if the sound of ringing slot machines, the blinking signs and the freak animal shows at Circus Circus don't make your skin crawl, then join gamblers anonymous and rent "Leaving Las Vegas." For the rest of you, clear your lungs and prepare to see beyond the pop-up book in the middle of the desert.

Red Rock Canyon is 15 miles outside of Vegas and is not only one of the three biggest and best winter rock climbing areas in North America -- it is a slice of heaven.

A 13-mile drive is one way to see the canyon, which usually has a back drop of a rich turquoise sky. People often stop off to picnic and capture Kodak moments here. If you don't get married in Vegas, getting engaged during one of its glorious sunsets could be a good substitute.

Allegedly, you can see burrows along the canyon highway, they're said to be mean, so don't feed them. According to literature from the Bureau of Land Management, Red Rock gets its name from the "Aztec Sandstone," which forms most of the red geological layers visible around the Canyon.

oshua trees and Mojave Yuccas are all over the canyon and in the spring they bloom. When the white flowers bloom it's a spectacular sight.

They are closely related and are found only in the Mojave desert. The J-trees do not bloom every year, but wait until conditions are right by conserving water and energy.

If you decide to head to Vegas following this three-day agenda remember three things: the drinks are free, the buffets suck and the glitz of casinos can't compete with Mother Nature's set up in her desert.

[ Golden Gater Online March 28, 1996 ]

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