March 9, 1995
Welcome to the world of "Contract With America," where deceptive political terminology is the new canon. Anti-environmentalism transforms into protection of property, politics of exclusion changes into anti-quotas, and massive cuts in social programs hide under a veneer known as a Balanced Budget Amendment.
Few people want to be known as anti-environment. So, the question becomes how do we kill those pesky environmental laws? The sanctity of private property -- perfect. It's part of the Bill of Rights and the Declaration of Independence. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness... Now we're talkin'. Put it in the contract. Anytime the government (must be bad) tries to stop somebody from using their property anyway they want to, the government has to pay 'em for the trouble.
But wait, what if some corporation starts dumping a whole lot of oil on their property (never happens) and it becomes an ecological disaster? The taxpayers have to foot the clean-up bill? And if the company claims its property has been devalued (say, 20 percent) because they have to stop dumping and dispose of the oil safely, the taxpayers have to pay for that too? Now that's a contract.
Few people want to be called racist, sexist or anti-children. So the question is how do we terminate affirmative action and eliminate welfare? Well now, that's a little easier. Affirmative action -- let's call 'em "quotas." Democrats are already back-pedaling. Plus, it keeps women and minorities right where we want 'em: out of the workplace and the universities. Welfare? It's already gotta bad name; most Americans think it's too expensive (it's cheap in comparison, to say, defense spending). No one will notice that more families will end up on the streets until later. And even if they do, we'll say it was the Democrats' fault for inventing welfare in the first place. Put 'em in the contract, as is.
How do we clip stuff like education, transportation, Medicare and that sacred cow: Social Security, while increasing defense spending and giving our buddies a fat tax break? This one could be tough. Hmm... I've got it... a Balanced Budget Amendment. Who could be against that? If anyone objects, we'll call 'em tax and spend liberals. Who cares if we disfigure the Constitution and take $200 billion out of the economy (a percentage decrease matched only by the Great Depression in this century). Contract? You betcha.
What? The Balanced Budget Amendment looks like it's dead? Those damn liberals, all they want to do is play politics. No problem, we'll cut a deal and bring it back to life later, when nobody's lookin'.
In the meantime, we'll just keep hammerin' Clinton and the liberals. They won't fight back. Will they?