Blotter

by Audrey Wong

50 uses for metal pipes

Feb. 25, Saturday -- Someone reported to the University Police Department that about 12 skateboarders were congregating in Lot 1. The skateboarders constructed a ramp out of metal pipes and had struck a parked vehicle. UPD officers found the vehicle undamaged and told the skateboarders to leave campus.

How dry I am

Feb. 26, Sunday -- Someone reported seeing an intoxicated man lying unconscious by a mailbox between Mary Ward Hall and Mary Park Hall. Officers found out the man was unable to care for himself. The man was transported to county jail.

Towel drying won't do

Feb. 26, Sunday -- UPD officers heard a fire alarm go off on the fourth floor of Mary Park Hall. Officers reported seeing no signs of smoke or fire. They concluded that heat from a blowdryer triggered the alarm. SF firefighters reset the alarm.

This ain't Disneyland

Feb. 26, Sunday -- UPD officers saw two people driving a go-cart around Lot 25. Officers identified the two and sent them on their way.

Calling Mr. Redenbacher

March 2, Thursday -- Another fire alarm from Mary Park Hall forced UPD officers and SF firefighters to search the area. The smell of burnt popcorn set off the alarm, they decided.

No, I don't do miniatures

March 5, Sunday -- A woman reported to UPD that a man exposed himself to her and a friend as they were walking between Brotherhood Way and Winston Drive. The man approached the women three times. Each time the man masturbated in front of them and asked, "Don't you want this?"

---END OF ARTICLE---