January 31, 1995
"Hello, how are you today Mr. Rosenberg?"
"Well, not so good doctor. I think I'm getting a rash all over my ass and down the back of my thighs. Also, on the way over here I sort of got accosted by these two, big ugly biker types, and so they got me real good.
"They were pinching me silly. I mean like real hard on my belly here and here and ... and then they said they wanted to spank me with a spatula and make me crawl around like a dog and then..."
If you've received a phone call similar to this, you may be one of the hundreds of victims of one of the biggest practical joke crazes to hit college campuses in years.
Armed with a speaker phone and a boombox, Johnny Brennan and Kamal, also known as The Jerky Boys, have made a fortune off of the "art" of crank calling.
For almost 10 years, The Jerky Boys have captured the attention of people of all ages with their strange personalities and wacky phone calls. Picking numbers at random from the phone book and classified advertisements, The Jerky Boys invent outrageous predicaments and scenarios for the sole purpose of shocking the unfortunate soul who picks up the phone on the other end.
"(Kamal) would go through the paper and he'd just give me the number," Brennan said. "I wouldn't even know who it was and when the phone was ringing, (Kamal) would say, "It's an auto mechanic."
Most people hang up the phone when an idiotic caller is on the other end but Brennan said he's only been hung up on once. He was making a call using the personality of Sol Rosenburg, a Jewish New Yorker, asking a doctor about hemorrhoids. According to the receptionist, Rosenberg was not using the "proper terminology."
"It's all imagination," Brennan said. "I don't ever crack a smile or laugh because if the people don't believe in the character, they'll hang up."
The Jerky Boys were conceived by Brennan and Kamal in 1986 much to the dismay of the friends and family their characters imitate.
"We never went and sought this out," Brennan said. "It took off because it was so innocent. Everyone can relate to it."
The San Francisco Brewing Company was one of the stops in The Jerky Boys promotional tour for their new self-titled movie which opens this weekend. A private room was provided by the brewing company for Brennan and about 10 college media representatives to share beer and talk jerky.
According to Brennan, Kamal missed the press conference because he ate 50 large oysters on a dare the night before and, like any true Jerky Boy, was having a little trouble with vomiting.
"We don't get together and make phone calls," Brennan said. "We don't enjoy it, we feel foolish."
Brennan said he is not handling his new-found fame very well. He did not want to be photographed in front of his limousine because it was "too Hollywood."
The Jerky Boys had private lives before this and they will have them again when this adventure is over.
"It's a ride right now, we're just riding it," Brennan said. "When it's over, we'll get off."