No kissy-face here

A sampling from this week's grab bag ...

• Poor little Johnathan Prevette, a North Carolina first-grader, never knew what hit him. He kissed a girl classmate and, faster than the Oakland Raiders can blow a 14-point lead, he was branded a sexual harassment offender. Yeah, one innocent smooch and Johnathan appears to be heading down the road to Richard Allen Davis-dom. Johnny was separated from his class and not allowed to attend his class' ice cream party. There's a rumor floating around that if for some reason criminal charges are brought that Johnnie Cochrane will defend Prevette. (If the ice cream was chocolate mint, you must acquit ... )

• Lexington, N.C. school district spokesperson Jane Martin justified the suspension saying, "A 6-year-old kissing another 6-year-old is inappropriate behavior. Unwelcome is unwelcome at any age." That this incident was even an issue with school administrators is one of the reasons that the state of American public schools is declining.

• The weather is cooler and some leaves are even turning. I'm ready for some college football. Who are the Gators playing this week?

• The city of Colma has reached a new low -- literally. The citizens of Colma, that is, the ones who live above ground, are trying to put a $5 per-grave yearly tax, on its citizens who live underground. And they're also going after Colma's dead pets with a $50 one-time fee if your beloved dog, "Spot," wants a grave. They say that the only certain things in life are death and taxes. Now, they could be one in the same.

• Person least likely to win the 1996 Mr. Congeniality Award: Richard Allen Davis ...

• Does anyone else out there believe that SF State construction workers are playing some sadistic game? Every day I feel like a laboratory mouse in a maze, endlessly trying to find my cheese. I fully expect to get off the M-Oceanview one day to see the entire campus encircled in that orange mesh.

• One serious question on the construction: Why didn't they start work on the administration building and the quad during the summer when there were less students on campus?

• Person most likely to be calling a temp agency before the end of the year: Raiders head coach Mike White.

• To all those who protested David Duke's appearance last week at the California Civil Rights Initiative debate at CSU Northridge: Though your intentions were noble, you were just playing into Duke's hands. He wanted the publicity of protesters and even violence to generate support. The man may barely have an opposable thumb, but he is not stupid.

• The baseball postseason is underway. Take the Braves to win the series in six games over whomever emerges from the American League. While you watch, just remember that two years after the cancellation of the 1994 World Series, there is still no collective bargaining agreement. There is still no commissioner and the San Francisco Giants still don't have a pitching staff. Well, at least the last one isn't baseball's fault.

• Reason no. 648 not to re-elect Bill Clinton: Al Gore and Hillary Rodham Clinton have promised to do the Macarena if they win. I shudder at the thought ...

[ Golden Gater Online October 3, 1996 ]

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