Paper needs an enema

It's time someone came out into the open and just said it: I'm bored. I'm really, really bored. I've had Quaaludes that don't induce the drooling stupor this paper sometimes does.

And I'm not alone, the Managing Editor thinks so too. So does the Editor-in-Chief, though more begrudgingly. So do most of the reporters, the majority of editors, the advisors.

Umph. Chutzpah. Guts. That's what everyone wants to see. That's what everyone wants to read. But where -- I pray you, tell me -- is that in the Gater?

Who are we trying to impress, anyway? The recruiters from the major, but steadily dying, newspapers of this country? Who cares about them, anyway? They're not going to be around long enough for us to give a shit.

Yes, I said shit. Right there in the paper. Naughty me.

A newspaper is supposed to speak to its readers -- in this case, the students. It's also supposed to inform. And to the Gater's credit, I think it does inform. Most of the time.

But does it speak to you?

When was the last time you saw the word "shit" in the paper? People say shit all the time. Why? Because it's a good word. It evokes a concrete response, when used sparingly.

That's why shit's a good word -- sometimes it just fits.

In theory, the opinion page is supposed to be the most entertaining, the most thought-provoking, the most interesting page to read in the paper. It's a place to vent what's on your mind about what concerns you most -- either in the world at large or here in this microcosm we call SF State.

This, then is a solicitation, a calling, a request -- a plea, almost. I don't want to be bored any longer. Cross a line, make us wonder if it's fit to print, use that increasingly expensive education to intrigue us, bewilder us. Write.

We know there's wacky shit (there's that word again) going on out there. And for once, we want it in the pages of the Gater.

And one more word -- ART. I've heard there are people who draw out there. If you have any talent you'd like to share with the Gater, contact us. We need you.

There's a new sheriff in town. The doctor is in. Put your genitals in my hand and cough. Strap in. With any luck, we're going for a ride.

[ Golden Gater Online September 26, 1995 ]

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