Keep the game, change the name

The whiff of autumn is in the air. For baseball fans, that means an opportunity to see the pitching wizardry of Dennis Martinez and Greg Maddux. It means that fans can expect big things from the bats of Albert Belle and David Justice.

Unfortunately, when the Cleveland Indians face the Atlanta Braves in the World Series this year, it also means that fans will be bombarded with ludicrous images of Native Americans.

For the record, I think "knee-jerkism" is unattractive in whatever guise it takes. I don't think group hugs are any more effective than hugging a tree (although Earth First! might disagree).

But the images evoked by both teams and their fans are truly offensive. Such as the dopey looking "Indian" that serves as Cleveland's logo. Or the "war paint" that fans of both teams use. Or the "Tomahawk chop" that Atlanta fans use to serenade their team.

Imagine, if you will, another ethnic group taking the place of both teams. For example, a group that I happen to identify with, the Jews. Imagine a team called the New York Jews. Then imagine a typical fan of the New York Jews being interviewed. (and phrases such as "on the warpath," and "tribe fans," replaced with images associated with Jews).

Reporter: Well, here we are with a typical Jews fan.

Fan: We like to be called bagelheads.

Reporter: Very well. I think that you can agree, Mr. Bagelhead, that the Jews are really on a roll.

Fan: Oh, yeah. Definitely. The pitching is just starting to kick in, and the heart of the batting order is in a groove. I think the Jews are starting to hit the money trail big-time.

Reporter: I notice the fans seem to be behind the team 100 percent.

Fan: Sure. As a matter of fact, it's probably about time for the matzo-ball toss.

Reporter: The what?

Fan: You know. Just a whole bunch of crazy guys getting together to show support for the team. When the team rallies, we like to throw matzo-balls onto the field. My only problem is that I get really nervous and sweaty, so I turn everything into matzo-ball soup.

Reporter: How unfortunate for you.

Fan: Got that right.

Reporter: What's going on over in the cheap seats?

Fan: Those are the hard-core bagelheads. They're singing Hava Nagilah. Kind of like a good-luck dance.

Reporter: What happens after the game?

Fan: We all go to our favorite Jew bar. Usually, it's a room full of Jew fans, but you have your occasional Philadelphia African fan, or Boston Asian fan. But they're rare. This is definitely Jew country.

Reporter: Well, Mr. Bagelhead, this has definitely been enlightening.

Fan: My pleasure. Go Jews, go. L'chaim!

[ Golden Gater Online October 24, 1995 ]

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