Roommates build friendship despite war in homeland

Thousands of miles away from the bloody conflict between Croats and Serbians that rages with little hope of reprieve, two BYU athletes have inadvertently found a cure for war.

Former Cougar swimmer Sinisa Vidak and current tennis player Boris Bosnjakovic have been best friends and roommates since their tense introduction nearly two years ago. A unique relationship was forged at the first handshake -- a relationship that teaches an age-old lesson to a new-world problem.

The uniqueness of their relationship is simply their nationality. Vidak is from Split, Croatia, and Bosnjakovic is from Novi Sad, Serbia. But the significance of their relationship is found in their ability to overcome national and ethnic boundaries. Accustomed to walking on ethnic eggshells since the beginning of the war, Bosnjakovic said he and Vidak began their friendship apprehensively.

"I was kind of cautious; I didn't want to say much at first. I know how I am, that I don't care, but I didn't know how he was going to react. He may be a nationalist, against Serbs. I didn't want to say much and just wait to see what happens, and everything worked out fine," Bosnjakovic said.

Bosnjakovic compared his uncertainty and the tensions in the former Yugoslavia to the racial conditions that exist in the United States today.

"We lived in the same country for 50 years after the war. Everyone grew up in the same conditions; we were the same people. If there was no prejudice involved, we got along," Bosnjakovic said. "Just like in America. Everyone is equal, but if someone is prejudiced towards a black man, then you have conflict."

Vidak agrees with Bosnjakovic. On summer vacation, Vidak is in his home town of Split, a seaport town as far away from the fighting as possible in Croatia -- 100 miles. But the fighting is not too far away for Vidak to see his people torn apart by economic and physical hardships, not too far to remind him that nationalism is the most destructive force in the Baltic countries.

"I've been here (Croatia), and I basically know what is going on. I don't believe in nationalism, because it is just a weapon of the politicians to manipulate the people. I don't hate each and every Serb; that would be ridiculous," Vidak said. "I believe, when I meet someone, whether it be a Serb or Croat, you just get to know the person. I respect Boris as a person. If you think about it, what is the connection between some guy fighting and Boris other than the fact they are born a Serbian. It would be stupid for me to consider him first as a Serb, then as anything else. Bosnjakovic said it should be easy for Americans to understand the meaning of the word nationalist to the Balkans, but not easy to understand why.

"For us, nationalist replaces racist. It probably wouldn't be possible for Sina and I to live together if we didn't have the same attitude towards the war and nationalism," Bosnjakovic said. "I can understand why some Croats, some Serbs, some Muslims are nationalist.

"It makes it difficult when their families are killed by the other side. That is something that makes you so mad that you could never like the other side," Bosnjakovic said. "And that is what happens, and that is why the fighting continues."

Vidak said the two occasionally tread dangerous idealistic ground in their conversations, but are always united under their concern for people and hatred for the politics of war.

"We only talk about it once in awhile. Basically, he just makes some comments, and I say what I think, and vice versa. It's more like we talk about people, just ordinary people. Not the people fighting, the people trying to live a normal life," Vidak said, "because eventually,the fighting is going to stop, and Croatia and Serbia will have to do trading, so we'll have contact. There is no way we can block any kind of contact after the war, so it's going to be interesting to see people communicating -- Serbians, Croats, Muslims.

Bosnjakovic blames politicians for the destruction of his country. "My belief is the war is stupid. A lot of people think that religion is involved, and it is true that three religions are involved, Muslims, Catholics and Serbian Orthodox. But the war is not about religion. It is a political thing. The politicians only care about money and power; they don't care about people. They will do anything to stay in power," Bosnjakovic said.

"We lived such a good life when we were united under Yugoslavia. We had enough money, food, we were a good country before. The standard of living is so low right now, people have no money, no food, I just don't know why they don't realize there needs to be a change. Whether they go out in the streets and yell or whatever they do, they need to change the government. I think this could end the war if the people made a change," Bosnjakovic said.

But Bosnjakovic and Vidak said they aren't optimistic about seeing any light at the end of the tunnel because the entrance is clogged by hungry world powers fighting for their slice of the Baltic pie.

"In order for one to totally understand this situation between Serbians and Croatians and Muslims, they need to look up the entire history of Europe. The television and news, the stuff they are saying is not true. America has interest in Croatia, most of the Western world countries do. The Serbian leaders are still socialist, and most of the Western countries still have a problem with that," Bosnjakovic said.

"Croatia is a nice country that has nice ports that can be developed, nuclear weapons can be stored so Russia can be controlled from there. I don't like my government, but I think the media makes them look worse than they really are. The Serbs and Croats are the same people, they are just fighting to survive, to keep their own territory."

Vidak said the war may hinge on Russia's commitment to the Serbs.

"I think it is all about world politics. The whole Middle East is on the Bosnian side, Germany is trying to get stronger, and obviously they need us for a connection to the sea and strategic location, and the Russians have always helped the Serbs. That is how the Serbs are getting the arms and the oil and money," Vidak said. "The whole international community is going to use this war as a reference in the future. Russia is trying to prove they still have some power. After the falling apart of the empire, they feel threatened big time. It seems on the large scale, the Balkans are very small, but they seem to be of strategic importance."

The Balkans are small, but the stakes are large for its people. Bosnjakovic said although the media paints a picture of a ruthless Serb army, most of the people he knows don't even want to be in the war.

"I often think about if I got drafted and went to war, and they handed me a gun and put me into the woods, would I shoot? I probably would, because I would have to protect myself," Bosnjakovic said. "I think the majority of the army are people who were drafted and find themselves stuck holding a gun in the woods." All people are humans, regardless of political affiliation or ethnic background. They are quick to judge, and whether they are informed from fighting in the front lines or sitting on a couch watching CNN, humans too often are unable to strip away exterior distractions and find another's true spirit.

This is the key to peace, this is the lesson Bosnjakovic and Vidak's friendship can teach us all.

[ back to Golden Gater Online August 31, 1995 ]

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